I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize