I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ladies don't puke and tell
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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