I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
