I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
