Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
