that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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