I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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