my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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