glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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