No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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