Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
