AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
