I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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