Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
