I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She's the barista slut.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize