def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
