You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
