I swear she didn't look like that last week.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
