The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
