The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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