all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
