I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize