addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
