dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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