we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
