I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can you bring me the toilet please
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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