So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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