I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
