You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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