Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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