fuck your aforementioned shoe
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize