And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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