I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
