my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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