Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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