I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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