don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
