I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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