She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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