I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
