bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
