at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
