If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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