I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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