sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
