I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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