we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
