Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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