He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
