do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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