I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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