How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
