If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
