HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
