i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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