this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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